• Indian Aspie

The girl in seat 15 A

Updated: May 15

This is for the girl in seat no 15A, Jet Airways flight no S2 4722 from Guwahti to Delhi. It happened on 20.10.2016 around 4 in the evening while I was travelling back from Aizawl and landed at Guwahati and had to wait for my flight back to Delhi.

I entered the waiting lounge and saw her from a distance. I guess she saw me too. I was about to sit in a row away from her but something made me take a round of the entire lounge and I went and sat opposite to her. ( I did that so that she doesn't think that I did that to be more close to her.)

I looked at her and she had this familiar looking face. I couldn't help but smile, and this is not a normal smile, its like from ear to ear smile. She is really cute and I can't help it. I kept on giggling like a kid who has got a present he had wanted for ages. I kept stealing a glance at her and many times our eyes met. I guess I was the only one who was excited to see her because i couldn't see any expression on her face, but I had this feeling deep inside that I have seen her before and that she was thinking the same. Even if it wasn't so I would like to think she also was wondering where we have met. I don't know but I felt really happy and warm when I saw her, it was like a hot steaming shower in a cold freezing night. I so wanted to go and say hi to her and talk to her but I kept giggling. I was thinking of how can I approach her and what would be the best line to just say hi but couldn't figure anything out. I was feeling like Chandler from friends and how he approached that actress in the ATM booth and then turned around. Felt so stupid yet it was so good. I wish I could meet her again in person.

I wish I was not so shy. Damn I have a lot of wishes.

She had 3 black dots (looked like that) tattooed on the left side of her chest close to the shoulder and had a leaf and a bud tattooed in the cleavage. She was wearing a Nath (nose ring) in her nose and had long curly hairs. Her eyes were round, black and big and was wearing Kajal. I wish she could realize what she made me feel, I guess sometime there are some people who does that, you know, like the first time you see them and you just wish they be around you forever. They have a strong aura or something around them which make people feel happy if they are happy and sad if they are feeling sad.

This is the 2nd time I have felt like this. Last time I felt this was nearly 11 years ago when I first saw one of crush at her home.

It will kill me if she is in a relationship, which is like always. You see a pretty girl and she is committed. Well this will be another story of my life I guess which I will leave in between, the one that will never end (I suppose)

As an Aspie I have always felt strongly for certain people, have been overwhelmed by emotions and all that chemical imbalance in my head. I wish I could have told them what kind of affect they have on me. Wish I could tell them what I felt or atleast try and explain the overwhelming emotions and how it is physically affecting me.

I wonder if people on the spectrum are ever able to express what they feel, because the world wants to know and I am unable to say. The words, the entire vocabulary is not enough to express what I feel, I wish I can make my own words to tell the world, scream it out. There is so much left to speak, to express, the regret of not doing it, it's just too much.


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